Let The Insanity Begin

I am back. I have decided to use this medium to say things, rant and rave, and go over my own history of absurd, but funny, ideas. Let me begin with these gems.

1. This is an observation. What is the deal with putting plastic over the furniture. I do not mean as a tarp when painting or sanding to protect it from dirt and dust. I am talking, or writing, about putting plastic covers on the cushions and the couch itself. It seems like a grandmother thing but I just cannot figure it out.

My grandmother had put those damn plastic covers on her couch and I could not figure out why. I mean, I can understand protecting it, but it was an ugly, orange floral pattern in a textured velour. What is/was she saving it for? Was this to be her last laugh? Haha, I am now dead but my children now have to deal with an ugly couch. As I think about it, I can see the humor. However, you are not laughing from the grave, Grandma.

The second part of this thing is why did my grandmother and parents insist that I sit on that plastic in the heat of summer. I liked to wear shorts as it was hot, but to make me sit, in a poorly air condtioned apartment, on plastic, so that my legs sweated and got stuck to the plastic. That was a cruel. It was like 2 older generations playing a prank on the youngest generation. Well, just you wait until we pack you both, at least my parents, in a home. I guess then I could hook the IV into their catheters and watch them piss themselves to death.

I was thinking that was a cruel thing to write on my part. It is and I would not do it, but the visual I get makes me laugh.

2. Wax Fruit. What kind of twisted fuck thought of wax fruit. I guess it becomes like having a mini-Mme Tussaud's in your own home. Who buys that shit? Other than my grandmother I mean. I do not want to go off on a familial rant, my grandmother has been dead for over ten years, so these observations are not recent.

Those are the thoughts for the day. I hope yoy have enjoyed them.