The comb over, why?

I am back. I noticed something as I got out of the shower this morning. If I can say nothing else good about myself, I have impeccable oral and bodily hygiene, so I have that going for me, which is nice. Of course, it is not as nice as having total consciousness on my death bed, but I guess you have to caddy for the Dalai Lama, himself, to get that. Sorry, too much of a Caddyshack reference. I digress. Where was I.....Oh yeah, the shower. I get out and notice that my hair is thinning, who is kidding who-I am losing my hair, on my head but I seem to have a new growth on a patch of my back just below my neck. What is up with that?!!!!!

Why is that, at least with males, we lose the hair on our heads but gain hair on parts of the body that really do not need it, like the back, ears and nose? Why is that? I am thinking that given the fine texture of my hair and the fact that it grows arrow straight, not a wave or curl to be had, that I should be happy with the hair I have at 40, and I am, but that still does not explain the hair on the back situation. I just do not understand that.

This got me to thinking about really growing out my eyebrows. I could try to go for that Leonid Brehznev look. Lenny Brehznev was leader of the Soviet Union from about the mid 60s until he got a "cold" in 1982/3. I did find that being leader of the Soviet Union and catching a cold at the same time was fatal. I mean those Soviets must have had some sort of supergerm that would give their leaders colds and they would die. Anyway, he had some great brows. First off, he those thick, furrowed brows that made him look like a Neanderthal or CroMagnon, then add two thick, hairy caterpillars and you have his brows. I often noticed that he had the longest eyebrows I had ever seen, except for some creepy Slavic dude I saw at a soccer game at the old PNE in Vancouver back in 1977. I was thinking that if Brehznev did not have a good head of hair, he could have used his eyebrows for a good comb over, or is that comb back, covering his forehead (which was the size of a fucking billboard, damned if his head was not bigger than Ted Kennedy's melon). Those were eye brows, man!

This got me to thinking of this waiter at an engagement party I attended a dozen years ago at the Inn on the Park. Armando, that was the name on his name tag, had a unique comb over. Instead of the side comb over, his came from the back of his head. He had a great part in the back of his head with the hair coming forward into some sort of "Vulcan" widow's peak. In fact, in seeing this "style" in the mirror, I think that the widow hurled herself over the peak so as to not have to be associated with this hair don't at all. I could not help but stare. Did he have some sort of thing on his mirror at home that leads him to believe that he looked good that way?

What sort of self deception do you have to go through to actually believe that yes, with this comb over, it looks like I have a full head of hair. I am one handsome devil. Let the ladies beware, I am on the prowl. Why did he just not go for the balding guy pony tail? Obviously he had enough hair for the full back to front comb over, so a pony tail would have been doable. Of course, it would be just as funny as a mullet. Damn, I giggle like a little girl every time I think of the mullet.

What was up with that comb over? What is up with any comb over? I mean it is like closing your eyes and believing yourself to be invisible. Since you cannot see, obviously others cannot see you. I am sorry, I just do not have the necessary ability for self deception to allow me to attempt the comb over. Not that I am better than those with that, but I am.

Now, get back to your real lives. Ciao!