Friday the 13th, ahhhhhhh!

I am back. I figure to make this short and weird. Well...short, anyway. Back to the eyebrow thoughts of the other day, I was thinking of growing my eyebrows into a great, big unibrow. Is there anything quite as scary as the fluffy unibrow? It is bad enough on a man, but on a woman it is something beyond the freakshow and frightening.

That brings me to a story or at least a memory, which is not as bad as having to think of my wife's aunt "getting it on" with her husband. Excuse me as I wretch a little at that thought. I am back as the tears in my eyes have cleared. There used to be a bagel place on Eglinton called Bagel Bar, it has since been swallowed by the House of Chan. This place made great bagels but to call it dirty would be a disservice to anything dirty. Gimpel, the owner, would have had to burn the place down and rebuild from new to get it up to dirty. I was forbidden by my father from getting him his coffee or tea from there. It was believed that Gimple never cleaned the coffee carafes, or at least it tasted that way. The best was his way of sticking his thumb in a styrofoam cup of tea to squeeze the tea bag with his bruised and scabby thumb before pulling it out and putting on the lid. You have to love takeout. Of course, I did not care, since I was not drinking it so, of course, I would hit Bagel Bar for coffees if I was pissed off by my father. I guess I am not all that different than that guy who when angry would piss in the coffee pot at work. I do have standards so I would not do that.

Anyway, I go into Gimple's place for lunch one day and notice this women at the counter. She is older, by which I mean she was somewhere between 40 and 200 years old, with dark brown hair and a red dress. As she turns to look at me, I am struck by two things, her full red lipsticked lips and her even darker brown eyebrow. Yes, eyebrow! She took the time to put on lipstick and a nice dress, but obviously missed the fact that she had one, big, fucking eyebrow! Wow, did I lose my appetite. I don't think that I ate for a week after that. I could not hold down solid food. Blahhhhhh!

I would draw a picture for you but think of Oscar the Grouch only flesh tone and less fuzzy and with bright red lipstick on. Gahhhhhhhh!!

Let us all make a blood pact now, No comb overs and no unibrows. I am thinking that I have issues with body hair. Have a hairless weekend, I will try as well. Ciao.