If I am being bored, I will bore you

I am back. It was a long weekend up here in Canada, so I really could not get to my computer to have any fun yesterday. I did have a story to tell about my weekend, though, it may be construed as nasty and mean. To know me is to know that I have trouble with people who talk a lot but say absolutely NOTHING. I am not fond of incessant chatter especially when it is useless, boring and uninteresting. I guess interesting incessant chatter is not chatter but like listening to Gilbert Gottfried.

Anyway, I think that it was my weekend of being around those who are compelled to talk but are unable to either read verbal cues, ignore them and their audience, or are completely incapable of listening. What did I do to deserve that this weekend? I am not sure, but if that is the worst that I get from Karma, then I must be living a charmed or good life.

It all began Friday, at the outlaws for dinner. My wife's aunt, mother in law's sister, was there with her husband (idiot), daughters (I like them) and granddaughter (one year old, so what's not to like). We are having dinner and then the conversation, it really is more like a monotonous, boring, life sapping, monologue of the minutae of her mind (blah! In fact, I think I said my first "kill me, now" when I walked in the door and heard her voice). She asks her daughter to tell us all a story about her new nanny. As the story is being told, the aunt keeps adding more pointless detail. There is nothing like making a dull story take even longer to tell, at which point I usually get up and leave (I am rude, but if I don't like a movie, I get up and leave, and believe me this is worse than any movie I have ever walked out on, the worst part is that she is stealing time from my life that I will never get back, I could be watching paint dry and it would be less pointless and mind numbing). I am finding the voice to be worse than fingernails scrapping a chalkboard.

We get down to watching some Jeopardy! and the final round is upon us. It was bad enough that my father in law got confused during a commercial and could not seem to comprehend that the show had gone to commercial, but the aunt was in full blown idiocy. The final question had to do with keys given by the French to George Washington by Lafayette. They were keys to the Bastille by the way. Anyway, I draw a blank but that is beside the point. The aunt says, "We were in Mount Vernon, but I don't remember any keys. You should have seen the beds." I nearly lose it, I have to walk out of the room.

Obviously she seem to think that I or anybody else in the room gave a fuck that she had been to Mount Vernon. What the fuck do the beds have to do with keys or the fucking clue? I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK where you have been and whom you have seen so shut the fuck up!!!!!!!! She did once say something and I shut her down, so she says "I was just making conversation." (that is a lie, since conversation by its very nature is about bringing ideas, listening and then coming to a "new" and synthesized idea and she does not listen, so....). I replied that she should try doing it, making conversation you sick folks, with her mouth shut. I am not sure if that went over well, but what are they going to do, start a war of wits, they have no ammo, so I am not afraid of them.

Then on Saturday, I am out with my wife, her friend and her friend's husband. He is a nice enough guy and treats her well but he drones on and on and does not let you get a word or idea in edge wise. Again, it would not be so bad if it were interesting but it is not. I was trapped in this listening hell, trying to be polite (I damn my parents for instilling this politeness thing in me) and just fighting the little rage filled man inside me who just wanted to yell, "Shut up already! I have heard you and I KNOW where this story and monologue goes and I want to get off, now!" but I cannot do that because I do not want to create a rift between my wife and her friend.

This all would not be so bad except for the fact that I am sure I get no credit for holding my tongue on the homefront. I have to repress my natural inclinations for honesty and no self deception to maintain peace for my wife (what do I care about familial wars when it is not my family) yet she thinks it is expected because she would NEVER open her mouth. The problem with her line of reasoning is that she would NEVER open her mouth but would think nothing of complaining about things to me. In the end she would do nothing and views it as a virtue. To me that is the vice as how are things supposed to change? Am I supposed to deal with the frustration by HOPING these people get the message telepathically? I mean the cannot read my fucking body language, how can I/she expect them to read my mind?

Geez, thanks I am in rant form now. I thank you for letting me vent and bend your eyes (if I were speaking it would be ears). Ciao.