What a day, what a day.

I am back. I was going to go into a raving on supermarkets, or more precisely people in my local supermarket. I will save that for another moment. I have more fun with real news. Two stories caught my eye for different reasons today.

In the first, a British couple, male aged 20 and female aged 17, were severly burned when their homemade lightsabres exploded. They were taping a mock lightsabre duel between Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. They had made their lightsabres using flourescent light tubes filled with liquid fuel. The obvious things are they should not be allowed to breed. This is natural selection working its magic. If it were two guys, geeks into Star Wars, I would wonder what the odds of them breeding were, but as it is a male and female, it seems to me that this incident becomes a poster case for state sterilization. I know that it is cruel but give me a break. You make your own lightsabre (that is bad in a geeky sort of way), fill the thing with liquid fuel (it is a painful accident just waiting to happen) and set about going into a mock duel (holding glass tubes filled with liquid fuel, no less). An explosion occurs (I am shocked!) and the participants are burned. The only way this gets better is if they were wearing polyester clothing, just so it would melt. We must cull the stupid out of the human herd and this is nature's way of doing it.

The second story is that in Prince Edward Island, Canada's smallest province with only about 137,000 people and a lot of potatoes, as of June 1st the suicide prevention hotline will only be in service from 9-5. There you have it, if you are in PEI and want to kill yourself but are looking for some help to stop the urge, then make sure it occurs during business hours. The fact is that the hotline receives about 1400 calls a year with only 50 from people contemplating suicide. Doing the math, about 1,350 people a year call just to chat. The hotline costs about $30,000 CDN a year to run, so this will be money well saved. Poor Anne of Green Gables, if she has a notion to off herself, she had best hope it happens during business hours, in the light of day.

Anybody who knows anything knows that the voices don't come out, or at least can't be heard, until the sun goes down and darkness fills the sky. Somebody has to take those PEIers to task for this. My wife had a good idea, she says that somebody should kill themself and then sue the government for taking away the suicide prevention hotline beyond business hours. I thought that it is a good idea except for the small fact that once you are dead, assuming that it was a successful suicide attempt and you are not the type of pathetic loser that cannot even get killing yourself right, you cannot sue. Something about no longer being a person or having standing (in fact it is more lying there dead ala Weekend at Bernie's if you want to have some fun as a corpse).

PEI did finally put a price on a human life, though, and in PEI it is apparently around $30,000 CDN a year. That be all for now. Ciao.