I am back. Two days in a row, how sweet is that? I am thinking not very but that is your problem. I was on Cruel.com and found the link I have listed above. It is another "What the fuck!?" moment. I am not sure if this is a put on or not. If it is, okay, but if it is not then I am left to shake my head.
Here is a pill to fight homosexuality, or so it seems, and something called behaviorial effeminism, or some such thing. It is America's most prescribed pill for such ailments. A pill that can "cure" homosexuality. It is as if one day a guy wakes up and DECIDES that he feels the need to smoke some pole (suck dick). I think the funniest is part is that Hetracil is actually in suppository form. I am kidding but that would be hilarious. I want to "cure" my desire to have a dick up my ass but having my "boyfriend" stuff a suppository up there. Now, that is ironic.
Pills to cure homosexuality. Will the wonders of science ever cease? The good Dr. Shetty is a medical fucking genius. He has found the "cure" to homosexuality and must be the patron saint of the religious Right. He will save your soul, not to mention allow you to avoid having your asshole stretched out (too much?). Thank you, Dr Shetty, now millions of American can sleep at night knowing that their homosexuality and behavioral effeminism can be treated and cured. This is a glorious day indeed for all of mankind. We can now have more men that will procreate.
Or, is Dr. Shetty just another in a long line of hucksters and guys who make their living in traveling Medicine Shows? Only time will tell, but just check out the link and site. Enjoy the weekend and day. Ciao!
Friday, October 28, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
P-UgggggH-blic Transit
I am back. This will be short and sweet. I have been on public transit a lot lately. I am just now starting to understand my misgivings about it. It is not me, it is the "public". If you get rid of the "public", then it could really be okay. Here, are some observations, most of these are multi-sensory.
I am sitting on the bus yesterday when an older, European type woman sits next to me. She is there about two seconds before her Eau de Stink wafts my way. Again, my eyes are watering. I turn to look at her and I swear I felt an eyeball of mine almost melt. I thought that with the cooler weather and wearing coats that that sort of stink would remain "hidden" under ones coat. I stand corrected. I have to write this down, there is no running from the stinky people when on the bus.
Today, I see people on the bus as we wait for it to leave the subway station. No problem there, everybody is quiet. How come as soon as the bus starts moving, the guy next to me decides it is time to open his mouth and let the "crazy" out. Either he was a fucking moron or his tactic was pure genius. I mean, once those shut and the bus starts to move all the passengers are a captive audience for the guy who now wants to converse with the fucking voices in his head. Had he pulled that shit earlier, I could have got the next bus (another one always comes along, eventually) or a group of us saner types (of which, I mean just me) could have pitched the dude from the bus and he could have caught another one (and spread the crazies around to a new and unsuspecting audience).
Do you have the picture? I mean the people watching part can be fun, but then how many times can you see the dude with mutton chop side burns. By the way, dude, Neil Young called he wants his burns back, and vacuum them before returning them, please.
That is all for now, ciao!
I am sitting on the bus yesterday when an older, European type woman sits next to me. She is there about two seconds before her Eau de Stink wafts my way. Again, my eyes are watering. I turn to look at her and I swear I felt an eyeball of mine almost melt. I thought that with the cooler weather and wearing coats that that sort of stink would remain "hidden" under ones coat. I stand corrected. I have to write this down, there is no running from the stinky people when on the bus.
Today, I see people on the bus as we wait for it to leave the subway station. No problem there, everybody is quiet. How come as soon as the bus starts moving, the guy next to me decides it is time to open his mouth and let the "crazy" out. Either he was a fucking moron or his tactic was pure genius. I mean, once those shut and the bus starts to move all the passengers are a captive audience for the guy who now wants to converse with the fucking voices in his head. Had he pulled that shit earlier, I could have got the next bus (another one always comes along, eventually) or a group of us saner types (of which, I mean just me) could have pitched the dude from the bus and he could have caught another one (and spread the crazies around to a new and unsuspecting audience).
Do you have the picture? I mean the people watching part can be fun, but then how many times can you see the dude with mutton chop side burns. By the way, dude, Neil Young called he wants his burns back, and vacuum them before returning them, please.
That is all for now, ciao!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
This just in
I am back. I found this gem, you have got to read. It reminded me of something funny, yet dark, I guess.
Dead man gets parking ticket
Fri Oct 21,10:38 AM ET
Australian authorities have apologized to the family of an elderly man who was given a parking ticket while he lay dead in his car in a suburban shopping center.
The 71-year-old man, known to be seriously ill, went missing nine days ago and his body was found in his car in a shopping mall car park in a Melbourne suburb, police said.
A parking ticket had been placed on the car the day before his body was found.
"It's just tragic. It must be just so sad for the family and we extend our sincere sympathies to them," local mayor Paul Denham told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio on Friday.
"The circumstances surrounding the location of this poor fellow must make it all the harder for the family. It is simply a case of the parking officer not noticing."
I found it funny on two levels. On the one hand, I have noticed that the majority of people I encounter just do not notice things that go on around them. Have we all become so oblivious to the present? Are we unable to live in the moment? Philosophical thoughts for you to ponder.
The second thing was it reminded me that right after my father died, it may have arrived on the day between my father's death and his funeral, but my father received a "Jury Duty" Notice (notice the word "notice" appears quite a bit today, what does that mean?). I did call but thought how funny would have been for a warrant to be issued to my dead father for ignoring a Jury Duty Notice. Sheriffs come to the door. My brother and I handing them shovels and giving them the address of the cemetery. Picture the look on their faces as they are digging in the dirt (I mean they do have a job to do, I understand).
Something else just occurred to me, the word "funeral". You cannot have a funeral without "fun". What is up with that? Fun is not a word I would use to describe most funerals, yet there it is in each and every funeral. Go figure. Well, that is all for now. Ciao!
Dead man gets parking ticket
Fri Oct 21,10:38 AM ET
Australian authorities have apologized to the family of an elderly man who was given a parking ticket while he lay dead in his car in a suburban shopping center.
The 71-year-old man, known to be seriously ill, went missing nine days ago and his body was found in his car in a shopping mall car park in a Melbourne suburb, police said.
A parking ticket had been placed on the car the day before his body was found.
"It's just tragic. It must be just so sad for the family and we extend our sincere sympathies to them," local mayor Paul Denham told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio on Friday.
"The circumstances surrounding the location of this poor fellow must make it all the harder for the family. It is simply a case of the parking officer not noticing."
I found it funny on two levels. On the one hand, I have noticed that the majority of people I encounter just do not notice things that go on around them. Have we all become so oblivious to the present? Are we unable to live in the moment? Philosophical thoughts for you to ponder.
The second thing was it reminded me that right after my father died, it may have arrived on the day between my father's death and his funeral, but my father received a "Jury Duty" Notice (notice the word "notice" appears quite a bit today, what does that mean?). I did call but thought how funny would have been for a warrant to be issued to my dead father for ignoring a Jury Duty Notice. Sheriffs come to the door. My brother and I handing them shovels and giving them the address of the cemetery. Picture the look on their faces as they are digging in the dirt (I mean they do have a job to do, I understand).
Something else just occurred to me, the word "funeral". You cannot have a funeral without "fun". What is up with that? Fun is not a word I would use to describe most funerals, yet there it is in each and every funeral. Go figure. Well, that is all for now. Ciao!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
t It has been too long
I am back. It really has been too long, but I have been busy, so there is an excuse, such that it is. There has not been too much that has been funny to me lately. There you go. I had some funny thoughts this weekend but the funniest things have been related to my father in law.
The in laws moved into a condominium about three weeks ago. There is still that settling period and my father in law, either really, is not the most aware guy on this planet. He is soon be 79 and I am not sure if he were ever with us fully, here, in reality and planet earth. Anyway, they are settling in fine, though my father in law is still having trouble dealing with the underground parking and how to find his spot, or the way out and up to the unit, for that matter.
You know the joke about the guy locking himself in the car? Well, my father in law, apparently, locked himself IN the bathroom. The locks are dead bolt type locks that do not connect to the door knobs. I am not sure if he locked the door and did not realize and then could not figure out how to twist the high tech. brass knob to unlock the deadbolt, (I kid about high tech. it is not quite a hook and loop, but it is pretty simple). Anyway, he is locked it and screaming for my mother in law (see has two modes, unconscious and panic, and he was in panic mode).
My mother in law calls the building Super but it being around five on a Friday, is gone for the weekend. They do get the Super from the building next door (in the same complex). In the meantime, she is apparently, trying to break the door down with her shoulder. This is a women, who when I hug her, I worry that I may crack her ribs if I hug too tightly. My wife is cracking up at the sight.
Now from the inside, my father in law is trying to saw through the dead bolt with a nail file. He has watched one to many prison movies, me thinks. He is merely shaving down the side of the door. Funny, how that did not work well. My wife is now in hysteric until realizing that she shares their DNA (their present may be her future, and mine).
The Super is super and gets him out with minimal damage to the door. How it happened I will never understand. I am now worried that he will lock himself inside is car.
That is all for today, though I have another story for latter. Ciao!
The in laws moved into a condominium about three weeks ago. There is still that settling period and my father in law, either really, is not the most aware guy on this planet. He is soon be 79 and I am not sure if he were ever with us fully, here, in reality and planet earth. Anyway, they are settling in fine, though my father in law is still having trouble dealing with the underground parking and how to find his spot, or the way out and up to the unit, for that matter.
You know the joke about the guy locking himself in the car? Well, my father in law, apparently, locked himself IN the bathroom. The locks are dead bolt type locks that do not connect to the door knobs. I am not sure if he locked the door and did not realize and then could not figure out how to twist the high tech. brass knob to unlock the deadbolt, (I kid about high tech. it is not quite a hook and loop, but it is pretty simple). Anyway, he is locked it and screaming for my mother in law (see has two modes, unconscious and panic, and he was in panic mode).
My mother in law calls the building Super but it being around five on a Friday, is gone for the weekend. They do get the Super from the building next door (in the same complex). In the meantime, she is apparently, trying to break the door down with her shoulder. This is a women, who when I hug her, I worry that I may crack her ribs if I hug too tightly. My wife is cracking up at the sight.
Now from the inside, my father in law is trying to saw through the dead bolt with a nail file. He has watched one to many prison movies, me thinks. He is merely shaving down the side of the door. Funny, how that did not work well. My wife is now in hysteric until realizing that she shares their DNA (their present may be her future, and mine).
The Super is super and gets him out with minimal damage to the door. How it happened I will never understand. I am now worried that he will lock himself inside is car.
That is all for today, though I have another story for latter. Ciao!
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Nipsey died
I am back. This will be brief but Nipsey Russell has died. He was 80. I could have thrown him into that question I had about Charo. I remember the guy from doing The Love Boat and game shows (Match Game and the like) back in the 70s. What did he actually do to become "famous" enough to make it to the Love Boat or those game shows. Please do not tell me he was some sort of "street" poet, because his poems were merely rhymes and not that good. He was no Andrew Dice Clay in that regard.
That is all I had for this moment, I just want to know.
That is all I had for this moment, I just want to know.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
The Day of the Disconnect
I am back. I also want to point out that this posting is a milestone posting. It is my 100th posting on this blog. I guess it is a milestone because it is round number and we live in a base ten society, except for time and imperial measure and......
I have a day today. The disconnects were many and my head is pounding. I, or should I say we, was at WalMart today. I had to take in some culture. Anyway, there was a sale on Irish Spring soap and that was why I was there, I presume. I am in the area, with a large crowd, around the soap and deodorant. People are grabbing these items but somehow my nose is assaulted by the combined B.O. of the fucking United Nations. It stinks in there. I was left to wonder why these people were hoarding the fucking soap and deodorant as it was more than apparent they either did not use these things (properly) or the stuff did not "take". Their B.O. eats the soap and deodorant for breakfast and gives them a funkier odor.
Now, it could be that they ALL had run out of soap and deodorant at the same time and were just picking up more, but they could not have had a shower this morning. Bullshit! That stench could not come from one missed shower. So, again, I am back to some sort of mutant B.O. funk that knows no end.
We are on the way home looking to make a left turn to access our street. Traffic is coming so I am waiting to make the left when this woman, in her Sunday finery complete with big ass brimed hat, is walking across the intersection. Her right hand is up near her right ear as if she is talking into a cell phone. I make eye contact, big mistake, and I notice she is not holding a phone. She looks at us and says menacingly, "Fucking N*****s (even I won't write that word)! Fucking J**s (I will be fair)!" I am about to respond with "Fucking Cunt!" when I realize that she is nuts (the outfit and hand by the face thing). I am left to think she should be saying, "Fucking N******! Fucking J***! Fucking Mentally Ill!"
It was another surreal moment! Now do you see why I had to post on Sunday. This shit just does not happen everyday! You cannot make this stuff up either that is the best part. Ciao!
I have a day today. The disconnects were many and my head is pounding. I, or should I say we, was at WalMart today. I had to take in some culture. Anyway, there was a sale on Irish Spring soap and that was why I was there, I presume. I am in the area, with a large crowd, around the soap and deodorant. People are grabbing these items but somehow my nose is assaulted by the combined B.O. of the fucking United Nations. It stinks in there. I was left to wonder why these people were hoarding the fucking soap and deodorant as it was more than apparent they either did not use these things (properly) or the stuff did not "take". Their B.O. eats the soap and deodorant for breakfast and gives them a funkier odor.
Now, it could be that they ALL had run out of soap and deodorant at the same time and were just picking up more, but they could not have had a shower this morning. Bullshit! That stench could not come from one missed shower. So, again, I am back to some sort of mutant B.O. funk that knows no end.
We are on the way home looking to make a left turn to access our street. Traffic is coming so I am waiting to make the left when this woman, in her Sunday finery complete with big ass brimed hat, is walking across the intersection. Her right hand is up near her right ear as if she is talking into a cell phone. I make eye contact, big mistake, and I notice she is not holding a phone. She looks at us and says menacingly, "Fucking N*****s (even I won't write that word)! Fucking J**s (I will be fair)!" I am about to respond with "Fucking Cunt!" when I realize that she is nuts (the outfit and hand by the face thing). I am left to think she should be saying, "Fucking N******! Fucking J***! Fucking Mentally Ill!"
It was another surreal moment! Now do you see why I had to post on Sunday. This shit just does not happen everyday! You cannot make this stuff up either that is the best part. Ciao!
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