M-I-C, I hate rodents!

I am back. Damn, just when I thought it was safe to live in the house again, I had another critter sighting. There I was on Friday night, around eleven thirty, watching television while my wife was fast asleep on the couch next to me, snoring away, when what should emerge from under the door to the washing machine but a critter. It poked its head, whole body really, out to say "hello, I am here".

The rat bastard! (Maybe that is not a good term to use here) I, of course, jump up and say something along the lines of "Holy Fuck!". This rouses the wife from her slumbers and sets her heart racing. Now, I have to tell what I saw and deal with her panic, my own sense of panic, and the fact that we still have critter(s) sharing, or is that squating, in our house. She is still in wake up mode so she is not focusing on the area when the critter decides to come out again.

I get up and tell it to get back under the door. The foolish critter listens. The wife "runs" upstairs to bed leaving me to deal with things. It is late and I do not want a fight. I mean what am I going to do, catch it in a pail, take it outside, fill a garbage can halfway with water, toss in critter, let the deep freeze do its thing? It is not a bad idea, except for the cruelty involved, not that it was a real issue for me. It is the fact that the next day and for a while yet, I will have a critter-cicle on the driveway, and that is not good for ANYBODY.

I would put out more poison in the morning. In the meantime, I found some MDF boards and old ceramic tiles that I could use to block the the space between the doors and the floor. At least then it could not appear to us. I would only have to be careful when I did the laundry the next morning. I did that and told the wife and came down, again, to brush my teeth. I could hear the thing in there, trying to get out. Too bad, pays some rent and maybe we can talk things over.

To get a sense of what I think it is, you would have to name my favorite The Stranglers album, which I have on vinyl, on cassette, but have not got it in an MP3 or CD format. Too bad, but that is the quiz for the day. Good luck on that one.

I have told my family and they have given me many ideas of what to do. The funniest part is the my sister, living by a ravine, has had mouse troubles for the longest time. She and her husband have always had my mother come in and deal with the traps, setting and removal. My brother, in the same area, has had some mouse trouble but he is "afraid" to clean a trap and deal with the removal. He is the squeemish one.

His wife is pregnant and yesterday's dinner conversation was pre natal classes and child birth. Apparently, my brother figures his mother in law will be in the delivery room with his wife. They both think it better that way. All I could say was that I was there for the birth of my son. I can see how it could traumatize a guy. It is all surreal and messy.

I have longed held the view, since I saw the movie in grade twelve (1982) and the live show (1997) that birth and life, though a miracle, is rather disgusting and icky. Then as I think about it, the "making of the baby", though very pleasurable, is kind of disgusting and icky. It is messy, maybe that is what I mean. Keep in mind that I was raised by a father who felt the need to eat ribs with a knife and fork because of the mess.

I think that is where this is going. Life is messy and cruel. If it is not a woman passing something the size of a bowling ball through her birth canal (and then the gunk that follows, which was something to behold. Anybody know what kind of wine goes best with placenta?) it is freezing a critter in a bucket of water outside on a cold, windy night. It is always something! That is the true lesson, it is always something so take the humor out of it and laugh. The alternative is lying six feet under as worm feed. Have a happy day and ciao!