The trouble with watching what you eat

I am back. I was thinking earlier that I was not getting enought trans fats in my diet. That is why I now find myself eating a tub of Crisco with a large spoon. It is kind of like eating ice cream, without the vanilla or chocolate flavor. The funny thing is that after the first spoonful, it all slides down rather easily. It cannot be any worse for me than eating Cool Whip. I am going to finish this and see what happens, but as I hit the mid way point, I am slowing down and the room is kind of starting to spin.

It is much like drinking too much, without the loss of coordination. I am really starting to feel it, though. If I do not finish this, it is a bit of dare, kind of like I dare you to go hunting with Vice President Cheney, I can always spread some on my feet and the floor and go for a skate on the granite. I am sure my wife would appreciate that, but I could always tell her I was training for the 2010 Whistler/Vancouver Olympics for short track speed skating. In reality, it would be short track Crisco skating, which would really have a field of one, me.

I am going to go for a slide, so ciao!