This is how the weekend began

I am back. This will be short, sweet and yet rather sad. We had the outlaws over for dinner on Friday. Thursday evening, I say to my wife that the "over-under" on when my father in law will be clamoring to leave is 8:12 and I took the under.

They arrive at four. They were waiting when my wife walked up with the lad, after walking home from school. I know they were trying to avoid traffic on a Friday, but still. In fact, there have been times, too numerous to mention, where we have had family barbecues, called for six and they were told to come at five so they could play with the lad, and they would arrive at four. Whose problem is that? I can safely say it is not mine.

I am like my uncle, who happens to be in town presently, habitually late. I am NEVER late when there is money involved (business) but personally I am very laid back. It was said about my uncle and would apply to me, that we will both be late for our own funerals, what fun. We would both be the very late....but I digress.

Anyway, I come home and they are sitting there. My father in law in his coat, all covered up. He was cold, but it is my home so he cannot close my windows or turn up my heat, which was off by the way. He is starting to ask about eating at five fifteen. He asks who else is coming and it told my brother in law, his son. He asks when he will be here (as if that has ever changed, but remember his ability to remember is poor) and is told. Now he is clamoring for my mother in law to call him and tell him to get here at once.

I would have handed him the phone and tell him to do it himself, but that is me, and I do not have the desire to be anybody's hand maid/personal assistant. That explains my responses when my son looks to me to hang up his jacket or get him ketchup in our home. Again, I digress.

My brother in law arrives early, by his standards and we are eating before seven. We finish eating, it is near seven thirty, and my father in law says he "has" to go. Did I call it earlier? He does not drive anymore, so he is at the mercy of my mother in law, but like any three year old becomes cranky and annoying, so you give in to his demands just so you don't have to hear the endless loop of lame excuses and reasoning, or just the sound of the voice.

My wife insists that they stay for Jeopardy. He then says they will leave right after, no dessert or tea. They have to leave because it is getting dark outside and he is "afraid" of the crazy drivers that apparently only come out when the sun drops. I think he is mistaking them for the "voices" of which he must be hearing plenty. I listen to this logic(?) and call him on it. It is a sort of "What the fuck are you talking about?" though not as blunt or condescending, I mean I do like the guy and respect him and understand he is not fully of sound mind, if he ever was.

We get through Jeopardy and he immediately wants to leave. The excuse this time is that he has been up since seven. I look at him and tell him I have been up earlier. I look at him and tell him that considering he has given up the shop and was getting up at five then that seven is a sleep in and he should feel very well rested. I will stand for bad excuses, give me bullshit that is at least plausible. I cannot let that shit pass, it would ruin my reputation. Then again, ruining my reputation may be a good thing, but that is a story for another day.

We conned him into letting my mother in law have some tea and cake. It hit a point that it looked like she was going to take her cake in the car, to go. Anyway, they were out of here by 8:10, so I won my bet by taking the under. It is always such a pleasure having them over. It is becoming quite entertaining watching his discomfort and aggitation when he is away from home and out for dinner at somebody else's home. Anything I can do to increase the level of discomfort, please let me know. The funniest part is that this is his new normal. What can you do? Ciao!