The world of Spam or How to drown your significant other in a pool of your own ejaculate!

I am back. I love spam. Not the canned, spiced ham made by those lovely people at Hormel. The thought of canned meat is not appealing. There is this corned beef in a can from Argentina or Brazil. The look of it is ghastly and I do not want to imagine the taste. Canned ham? Always been more of a joke to me. I cannot think of any canned meat that I would eat. That Underwood Deviled Ham or Chicken? I would not eat it. I would not eat it with a fox. I would not eat it in a box. I would not eat it here or there. I would not eat it anywhere. I would not eat canned meat, even if it were not ham. I do not like it, Sam I am.

I think that I have made my point. I am not a fan of meat in a can. On a stick? Ain't nothing wrong with meat on a stick. It is all good, especially that "rat" on a stick you can get from street vendors in New York City. I do not know what the hell the meat on that stick, but I will say, it could be rat. It is pretty tasty nonetheless, though I am not sure how palatable it would be this time of year. I mean, New York is okay, but in July/August with the heat and humidity and smell of garbage, that rat on a stick is just not as appealing.

The funny thing is that I will eat seafood out of a can. Tuna, salmon, baby clams, anchovies, it is all good. I do not exactly eat the anchovies straight out of the can. I do cook with them. They are great melted in some olive oil and garlic, tossed with pasta. A quick and simple meal, just add some parsley or other green herb. That is fine and simple eating. I also use them with my clam sauce (for pasta). As I think about it, I won't eat "canned" meat but will eat "canned" seafood, it seems a proxy for some sort of heterosexuality, to me but I may be getting too Freudian here, so I will stop that train of thought.

The point of all of this is that I received some spammers email (sorry to all marketers out there) that purported to increase my ejaculate. All that served to do was get me wondering about some things. If I increased my ejaculate volume, is there the possibility of drowning my wife, or insert any female here, in a pool of my ejaculate? If so, would I be a candidate for murder or manslaughter. I mean I do not think that I would have the requisite guilty mind, but I can see the argument being made that I should have known that my increasing my ejaculate volume that it was foreseeable that I could drown somebody in it. I am assuming that it just pumps out of me like water from a fire hose attached to a hydrant.

I can only imagine having to tell the cops what happened. How do you explain that? "Sorry officer, I seemed to drown her in my own cum. I did not think it would just continue to come out like that. I do not know what got into me, or should I say came out of me. Am I in some sort of trouble?" You can take it from there.

I can see an upside to it, though. There would be endless possibilities for an exhibitionist to show his talent. I guess the idea is to not kill anybody with it. Oh yeah, and make sure that the front five rows at the "show" know to put on a raincoat and goggles. I mean I do not want to be returning home from the show with somebody else's DNA on my clothes. I am not Monica Lewinsky. That is me and if that is cool with you, I mean for those more earthy than me, it is natural, then knock yourselves out. Going to enjoy the heat. Ciao!