I have heard it said that Corn Brooms are cool!

I am back. I wanted to update you all on a forgotten image that I did not write about on Thursday. I bring you back to the hair stylist (read barber) downtown who needed the back of head cut down to remove the shoulder length hair. What I should have mentioned, but forgot at the time, is that I have not seen a hairstyle like that since Ben Franklin was flying kites near Philadelphia. That should bring the image home to you all.

On to new business. The wife, it is always the wife, wanted an outing to St. Jacobs. It is in the heart of Mennonite Ontario. We went on Sunday. It was interesting, though I am not sure why. It was a mindless and uneventful drive to and from. As we pulled into a parking spot on the main village street, my wife spies the place where they make corn brooms. She then exclaims to the lad and myself, "We can see them make corn brooms. That is cool!"

Let's stop this right now. Equating the making of corn brooms with cool??!!!!! I had to call her on that one. In fact, I keep quoting Rufus Wainwright "If making corn brooms is your idea of really cool...." If corn broom making is cool, then I am the most LAME and UNCOOL dude you will ever meet. If that is the case, I will stay away from cool. Can you see Fonzie making corn brooms? I know I cannot, so corn broom making cannot be cool.

It gets funnier. We get back home and the wife tells one of her friends about the day trip. She asks about corn brooms. What is wrong with these women?

My wife wanted to point out the buggies, men in black and women in black with bonnets to the lad. She wanted to see a barn going up. though I think that is the Amish (that is all I recall from Witness, anyway). I had to remind her that those Jesus fearing folk would have been doing their church day of rest and all. That is why there were no buggy sightings.

We did see three older ladies in black with black bonnets strolling the main street as we driving away. It was then my turned askew. I mused to myself about the availability of Mennonite or even Amish porn. I guess to "make it" would take electricity so it may be out of the question. Then again, Mennonite porn may be just a live sex show featuring Mennonites or the Amish. Then again, the thought of seeing Jebiddiah naked, except for his socks and the silly beard without the moustache (think C. Everett Koop), just does not do it for me.

Now I have to wonder if there is a Mennonite/Amish fetishist out there. I am thinking that there must be. Given Kelly McGillis in the aforementioned Witness, it would not be that unusual. She was one hot Amish chick. She also starred with Han Solo himself, Harrison Ford. That was before she was psycho Tom Cruise's love interest in Top Gun. Or was it after? I know I am looking at 1985/6 as my frame of reference.

Back to the Amish/Mennonite fetish, ohh baby, take off your bonnet. Do it slowly! Ohhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! That hits the spot! Yes! Yes! Yes! Sorry, honey, I am sure that will come out of your dress. By the way, my name is Isaiah! Ciao!