Say it ain't so, Popeye...Or He's strong to the finach cause he has eaten shit laced spinach

I am back. With all the immediate stuff with my wife's aunt, the holidays and dealing with family, I forgot to hit upon something that was sort of dear to my heart. Actually, it is more nostaglic and reminds me of when I was a young and impressionable lad.

I used to watch a lot of cartoons (still do, I guess) but I loved Popeye. If my mother would serve spinach, not only did I not have a problem eating it (if it was good enough for Popeye, it was certainly good enough for me. I have no trouble eating my veggies, though I am not a Brussel Sprouts fan and I have tried, but I would consider them sauteed with garlic and/or bacon to try.) I would eat me spinach and then get up from the chair and punch my mother in the ass. I wanted to show her that eating my spinach like Popeye made me strong like him. I would even get those freakish large forearms, which I thought I got from masturbation (or at least the right one) but now that I reconsider it was spinach. I did also have those freakishly dainty upper arms like Popeye, too.

Well, seeing how there have been deaths attributed to e. coli on spinach in the United States, it has made me wonder. Was the secret to Popeye's strength the spinach or was Popeye a shit eater. Man, I am so disillusioned about that right now. I mean, Popeye, I idolized you. I could not understand a fucking word you said, but you were my man (cartoon man, anyway). Now it comes out that you actually liked to eat shit. No, eating shit made you strong and beat the tar out of Bluto or Brutus or Brutusk.

I guess I should not be shocked to find Popeye on the cover of the latest Shit Lovers movie. Man, life just got a whole lot worse for me. This is what happens when you idolize a shit eater. Who knew? Now, I cannot complain when the lad does not want to eat his spinach. I should have realized something was up when a couple of weeks ago the lad said to his mother, "This spinach tastes like shit." I thought he was being over dramatic, I mean, I cannot recall ever witnessing him eating shit, so how would he know what it tastes like? I can only assume....it tastes like spinach. In any event, he was being honest. I should feel bad about banishing him to the linen closet (there is too much fun for him to have in his room, ain't nothing to do in the linen closet, except sniff cleaning solvents, shit, I am one bad father). Guess, I will have to fix him a drink to wash down the shit, er spinach, and the solvents.

That "Father of the Year" award or even the "#1 Dad" T-shirt is mine! Well, that has been a pleasant ride today...Popeye, shit eating, the lad eating shit, sniffing solvents and drinking. It is always an adventure here at Ravings of a Well Adjusted Madman, though the "well adjusted" part is certainly debatable at this point. See what adding shit to your diet when you are still growing does to you. That should be a lesson to us all and is another Public Service Announcement, which has to count as part of my community service. Ciao!