I am back. Sorry, I have neglected the posting for a couple of days but I was uninspired. I need me a muse. Somebody who inspires me to be funny and write. I will be taking applications so send it along to whomever you think may be a good muse for me.
That bit of housekeeping out of the way, there is a new entrant into Mayfair's stinkiest member. Oddly enough, it is not Stinky Guy this time. It was some woman. Now, her smell may be worse. She is trying to mask her woman stink by dousing herself in some sort of perfume. I am thinking it is Eau de Make Me Want To Vomit Once My Lightheadedness Goes Away. I think it is the newest scent from Calvin Klein ("Ocean" did not sell that well but Tia was a great model for the magazine ad spread).
It gets better. I overhear her telling one of the fitness instructors/trainers who will be "working" with her, that she came from work and "felt" like she was dirty and smelled. I see, she feels "dirty and stinky" and chooses to try to mask by dousing herself with a perfume. I would love to say it smelled like and Airwick in a sewer but I could not get beyond the stink of the perfume. Strong enough for a man, but made for an elephant. A dainty fucking elephant, not to say this woman was or is an elephant but she may be prone to elephant stink, which is just fucking unnatural in ANY human being who has spent a life time exposed to indoor plumbing.
The galling thing about it is that Mayfair has showers. If she came from work and felt "dirty" and "smelly", she could have easily taken a short shower BEFORE she worked out. I know that is too much trouble and takes too much time. It is better to pull a fucking Pepe Le Pew and douse yourself with some artificial stink spray, that presumably smells nice if a reasonable amount is used, so as to bother anybody who is unfortunate enought to come within nose shot. Nothing like offending others because you are too fucking lazy, or dim, to take a fucking shower. If that is not the height of selfish, I am not sure what is. Hell, even I would not do something like that. If I think I stink, which I most certainly do not, I take fucking shower! It is not difficult!
That got me wondering about woman stink. I have had the mispleasure of smelling man stink (see Stinky Guy and his toxic gas cloud). I never see commercials with guys saying how they just do not feel "fresh". I guess it is not a male thing to want to feel "fresh". And how does a female not feel "fresh"? I am not sure, but I may have an inkling, what that is all about. I figure is you are not fresh or feeling fresh, again I am not sure what it is to "feel" fresh, then take a fucking shower/bath and quit telling me about your lack of freshness. I am not sure if covering up the problem, masking it with some sort of perfume, is the way to go.
Did this woman take a steaming dump beforehand? If so, take a shower. I mean there is no secret to it and they do not hide the showers at Mayfair. Of course, I have never been in the women's change area and shower, so I really have no first hand knowledge. But I have to figure
if there were no showers a lot of woman folk would have complained and I would have heard about that.
In any event, I am no longer near that smell so my head is no longer hurts each time I inhale. With that I should get ready for another crazy Friday night dinner with the outlaws. Have a fantastic weekend. Ciao!
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