More of said same or life on a merry go round means that it all reoccurs

I am back. It was not a funny weekend. I take that back. I did have a reason to laugh this weekend. Of course, it involves the Outlaws. Friday night was uneventful as far as dinner went. My father in law asked if I wanted wine (again), it was that crappy Concord grape kosher wine (again), I told him no and that it was cough syrup (again). All this and I know it will be the same fucking routine this Friday. He did go on to tell me about a song he taught his youngest granddaughter, but he has told me that story too many times to mention. The best part was that when he was telling me, the Lad was in the room. At the start of the story, before I could roll my eyes, the Lad looks at me and rolls his eyes.

I am thinking that it was disrespectful, not that I was any different. Then again, it is not as if my father in law notices (subtle behavior has always been too much for the Outlaws) as that would mean being aware and able to read the listener. I am not sure he has ever done that, the same could be said for my mother in law, as well. She has the habit of talking, just to fill the silence and drown out the voices in her own head. I have learned when she starts with "Here is something you will find interesting", invariably I will not. For me to find it interesting, she would have to know what interests me. To do that, she would have had to have listened to me and any answers I may have given to her questions. This has never happened. I know this because she will be asking the next question before you have a chance to answer the first question.

Anyway, dinner was uneventful and rather craptastic. The elevator did not get stuck on the way down, which is always nice.

The next day, I get a phone call in the afternoon from my mother in law. She had already called me earlier to tell that "The Producers" was on television that night. I was glad she called and I did get a chance to watch that movie (I love it) ("Blazing Saddles" was on last night, for those in a Mel Brooks-type of mood). It turns out that the Outlaws had watched a DVD and now could not get the DVD out of the player. Okay, I thought, this should be easy, but no.

My mother in law, whose first response is usually to panic and avoid, actually did something. Of course, it was not reasoned. She unplugs all the DVD to television connections and it still does not work. Worse yet, the television does not work, either. That is when she calls me. She could ask my father in law, but his one trick is to try to work the remote, and we all know how that turns out.

Instead of letting me give her instructions and going ahead. My mother in law has to have me do things one step at a time. I will tell her to do something and she will put the phone down to do it. It could not have been any slower. First, I told her to reconnect the DVD player. How? I do not remember what went where. The connections are color coded, I think you can match the fucking colors.

Next, I tell her to check the power cord for the television. She does and plugs the television back in. Funny enough, it worked. They could now watch television. On to the DVD, I had to "fix" the fucking thing about a month earlier. I made fun of her then and how old the extension cord that it was plugged into was. Does this occur to her? Does the fact that the red LED light that goes on when there is power flowing to the DVD mean anything to her? Obviously not. I then have to get her to plug the DVD power cord directly into the outlet (this worked...another Festivus miracle!) but I have to do it in about three steps since she will not let me give her the three steps at once. I had to tell her to unplug the extension. Now she wants to leave it be and wait for me to come on Friday. I then tell her to unplug the DVD cord from the extension cord. I then tell her to plug the DVD into the outlet and throw out the extension cord (made by Thomas Edison, no doubt). She does as I say and there is power and she can get the DVD out of the player.

Now, I know that I am not "old" but the fine points of observation would be nice here. Again, observation is not a strong suit of the Outlaws (extending to the Wife, I might add). Where she should have been in tune to the lack of power (no red, power light on), she is mystified. It is like technology is some mystical beast. The electricity just sits in holes behind the walls. It boggles my mind and I get to hear all about it with great regularity. At least, I did not have to make a special trip to plug in the DVD. If I did, the term "justifiable homicide" would be used.

Ciao!