Death comes around this old house again

I am back. It has been a while but there were technology issues among others. I will be brief today, too. I had a lot to say but it may have to wait. Anyway, I want you to recall last week's post about me being dehydrated and like the Grim Reaper. It all makes sense to me now.

I speak to the Wife on Friday, before I head to the Outlaws. She tells me that the Lad had called her and asked if we can take home the class hamster for the weekend. She says "yes" and they bring the hamster home. No worries, since I will just avoid the thing.

Anyway, he feeds the thing but it is far from active. No problem. we go to see "Ghost Rider" on Saturday afternoon. We come home, have dinner and then I go up to watch the hockey game. I then hear the Wife and Lad talking. They are looking at the now non-moving hamster. The Wife asks if the Lad can see him breathing but the answer is no and the critter's eyes are open and not blinking. The thing is an ex-hamster.

The Lad is hysterical. It works well when the sensitive, animal lover has the class pet die on his watch. He is crying, worried that his classmates will be mad. Meanwhile, I am laughing. It is the funniest scene I have seen in a long while, given that Friday night dinners are more sedate what with the bottle of Galliano having been pitched. The Lad is getting angry with me for laughing, but I cannot help it. The thing was a fucking disposable pet that was well past his due date.

I had wondered if I had gone down in the middle of the night and touched him with my bony finger, Grim Reaper style. It would all make sense. I am feeling "reaperish" and here I take it out on some old rodent.

The Wife is calling all the teachers that she knows to figure what to do. Do you bring back the dead hamster or dispose of it in a suitable manner and bring back the empty cage? It is not something that I had ever thought about before. Anyway, I called me sister in law, but she was out at a viewing of the mother of a colleague of hers, how ironic was that? Had she waited, she could have taken the dead hamster and put it in the coffin with the dead mother. My brother and I had a chuckle over the whole scene. I was wondering how we could cook with the dead critter.

It was decided that we should bring it back. I had placed the cage, with dead hamster inside, on the deck. I did not want to risk the smell of decaying rodent permeating our house. That has been done before, no need to do it again. Anyway, I have to go (notice how it becomes my duty to deal with the removal of dead critters, I do not recall being ASKED or consulted on that one, I love the rationalization that went along with that, as if I WANT to or LIKE dealing with such things) put the corpse in a shoe box. Thankfully, the squirrels or raccoons did not get into it, then again, I would not care.

I left the thing out in the snow. How would we explain the presence of snow in the cage. Then again, there was no longer a hamster there, so who would complain. Long story short, they took it back and the teacher had the kids write a eulogy for the dead thing. She asked that the Wife dispose of it. It was done in a humane fashion, the shoe box and bag that the dead hamster was in, was pitched in the first dumpster that she could find.

The best part is that after all his being upset, the first thing the Lad said to friends, was "I killed the hamster". That came about because he was worried that the kids would make fun of him or be angry. At which point, I said, "If they say something, point at them, and tell them that they are next. Want to come to my place to sleepover?" He liked that but the Wife, who apparently never had a sense of humor, did not. Fuck her if she can't take a joke.

Well, that is the story of death for today. Keep smiling. Ciao!