It was twenty, er, forty years ago today. Sgt Pepper taught his band to play!

I am back. I just had to mention that it was 40 years ago today that the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's album was released. Which leads me to a funny story, well, it is a story. You will judge the funny.

By way of background, I loved the Beatles in my youth (still do, but it is different). I had quite the collection of Beatles albums on vinyl and those lovely compilation (Blue and Red albums) on, wait for it, 8 track. Now, how fucking 70s is that, the 8 Track! Well, I did have a portable player that I would end up using to listen to the radio while I showered as late as 1986. There may be old, as opposed to new, 8 Track cassettes floating around my mother's house.

I have an Apple pressing of the White album that my folks bought while in England. The collage poster inside was done by one of my father's favorite artists, Richard Hamilton. That was why he bought the album. In any event, I took possession of it and have never given it back and never will.

On to the story. I had a girlfriend, my first love, whose birthday is actually this weekend, for more digression. Anyway, as teenagers (14 or 15 at the time of this story) we would take any opportunity to fool around. Given it was the late 70s or very early 80s in a suburb of Toronto and teenagers were not as sexually active, the fooling around was more in the nature of making out and petting.

It could have been a Thursday after school, or weekday morning/afternoon during exams (I do not recall which). In any event, my siblings were not home and my parents were both at work. We had the house and my bed to ourselves. We are in my bed fooling around and I guess I had put on a Beatles cassette. It was Sgt Pepper's. We are doing our thing while the music plays.

It just so happens that "Fixing a Hole" is playing and I start to sing along while my lips are firmly planted on my girlfriends lips. I guess not so firmly if I am singing. Meanwhile, my hands are working and I have a finger or two in her warm, wet nether regions. I am then floored by her line, "David, you know no rain gets in there."

Say what?!! Excuse me??! Come again?! This was a girl who blushed when we spoke of things sexual saying this line in this situation. I was floored, so out of character, but in a good way.

It would be months later when I went down on her for the first time (first for either of us, really) and she asks what she should do with her hands. My reply, which was not appreciated, was "I don't know. Why don't you play with your tits or something?" I had never heard such things from where I learned about all things sexual....porn. What was a horny teenager to do?

All I know, or knew, is that I had my own pair of tits or pussy, I would have never left the house. It is kind of like being able to suck my own cock. If I could do it, I would not leave the house, nor would I have any need for human contact.

On that happy note, I am done. I get to go home to see the Outlaws. That means when I walk in the door, my father in law is going to say, "A. Let's go!" The dude cannot even remember not eating. They will be gone by 7, so it will be jam-hour of annoying chatter and responses. At least, I know where I keep the booze, so I will start when I get home.

Ciao!