Pity the poor trees, what did they do to us?

I am back. You would think that Toronto had become Sodom...mmmmmm....Sodom..ahhhhhhhh or Gomorrah. They, for those of you unfamiliar with the Bible, were the twin cities of sin. Anything went in Sodom and Gomorrah. What happened in Sodom or Gomorrah, stayed in Sodom or Gomorrah (I think that was their tagline, but it was so long ago who can be sure.). In the Bible, those two towns were destroyed by the Almighty for their sinful ways. You remember the story of Lot and how told to run and not look back. His wife, Mrs. Lot (Cara? Love S?), looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. Great story and used countless times by religious types to demonize the pleasures of the flesh.

Anyway, I make that comment because of a couple of recent rain storms. I mentioned the one from about two weeks ago on the Friday (Willie's birthday for those playing the home game of this blog) and all the downed tree branches (they were huge) with streets blocked off and hydro lines downed. Well, we had another one of those storms yesterday.

Coming home was an adventure. It was not as bad as the freezing rain/snow we had in early March (the first to be exact) where a half hour drive took me an hour and a half. This one was not that bad. I did find I was backed up in traffic. I thought it was the result of traffic lights being out. I was correct, so I turned around and tried a different route. I was constantly thwarted by blacked out traffic lights and downed trees.

I finally make my way west and south and I am almost home. I am passing my next door neighbor's house only to find a HUGE chunk of their old green maple tree on the lawn. It looks like it was hit by lightning. I take a look around the house for damage (from other trees) and see none.

I get in and the Wife tells me the Lad heard a crash. When they go out, the branch is blocking the street. She does help the neighbor move the limb on to the lawn and he ends up sawing off some branches. Fortunately, neither he nor his wife were home or parked on the driveway. There was no damage, other than to the tree and that is "natural" so it must be good (correct me if I am wrong David Suzuki).

All these falling trees and wicked storms...what the fuck did you people do to anger the Almighty? Repent you sinners. I figure it cannot be me, I am in the good books, trying to do His good works and all that. Besides, I am trying to start my own cult remember. All the double blowjobs I can receive, it is good to be the King, er, Leader.

This leads me to two more things I came across on cruel.com. One was a tongue and cheek piece about starting your own cult, which is on some humor website. It is just that I had the same idea, which I documented, back in October. Here is the URL.
http://www.startyourowncult.com/
It was pretty funny, especially before I realized it was a humor site.

The other I may save for tomorrow. It is rather funny but sick. Then again, it is nothing, or is that really twist, on things seen at stags and fraternity initiations. I hope that whets your appetite to return. If not, fuck off then.

Ciao!