A Tuesday revelation

I am back. I had some great thoughts yesterday but I am not so sure it is worthy of me sharing them. I was thinking about my father in law and my gift of being able to get inside people's heads and see how they process (fuck, I thought I was a Peter Petrelli but I am a Sylar, maybe that is not so bad. My Heroes reference for the day). I notice that I do not do that with him. I think it says more about me than him.

He has reverted to talking Yiddish, or complete jibberish. He is stuck in his own past as those are the only memories that he has and he cannot appear to make new ones. That means he cannot reason or connect events in the real world, which makes everything seem arbitrary and out of control. Actually, it is out of control in reality only he has lost the ability to believe or pretend that he is in control. I guess I won't be going there as I gave up that illusion of control many years ago. It is easier my way as it is real. Shit happens, adapt or die.

Anyway, I was thinking why I don't get inside his head and it is my own fear of getting locked in there. I think it reminds me of, and again I am just pulling this shit out of my ass, a closet with a bulb hanging with cobwebs. The closet is pretty much empty except for some wire hangers and that damn bulb. I am afraid of getting locked in there and not being able to get out. Then being really bored. So there, I have figured it out, my own sense of ennui has me disengaging from my father in law. Either that, or I never found what he says or asks interesting the first time he speaks of it.

That is that. I really want you all to click on this link. It is pretty cool in a "Dude, you've got way too much time on your hands" sort of way. Enjoy.

http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/player.swf?b=10&l=197&u=ILLUMllSOOAvIF//P_LxP92A42lCHCeeWCejXnHAS/c

Ciao!