WalMart, All of the Day and All of the Night!

I am back. It has been ten days and those days have been CRAZY, especially Monday through Wednesday. That, of course, is a story for another day. The point is that I am back and I hope to be more regular, both with my posting and moving my bowels. Who is kidding whom here, I have no trouble with the latter (more information than you wanted?).

I caught this radio ad the other night. It said that WalMart was open 24 hours, or at least selected locations, during the holiday season. Now there is something that I want to see. I go to WalMart during the light of day and I think it is a freakshow. Picture that in the dark of night or early morning. My mind is spinning.

Who the fuck knows what kind of freaks will be hanging in the aisles under those flourescent lights? In any event, I would not go unarmed (camera, notebook, taser) this shit has to be documented. I am thinking it could make for a great "human" hunting ground. Capture a freak, even digitally or on film. Now, that is a trophy. Chop off a head, stuff it and mount it over the fireplace. THAT is a conversation piece.

I am telling you. It will be like a veritable rogues gallery of villians, like they appeared in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The more I think about it. Again, I have never been up at three in the morning with a hankering to hit the WalMart, that is just me. I had enough trouble being there in the early evening (though it looked like night to me) in frigid (an understatement) Portage La Prairie, Manitoba in February. I just cannot imagine the freakshow that would appear at three in the morning this time of year.

Besides, do they really NEED to be open 24 hours? It is a bit of overkill as far as I see it. Midnight, maybe but 24 hours?????? How is Gus, the elderly (been dead for a year but nobody has been kind enough to inform him) greeter, supposed to stay awake? Does this mean Gus will be given speed. So now we have Gus the Speedfreak as the MC of the Freakshow! Thank you, WalMart. The world is now safe, well safer than the WalMart, because you have given these mutants a temporary home.

Chew on that one a while. Ciao.