I am back. This post will be short and sweet. I am behind this woman at the post office today. She seemed to copping a real attitude. I did not get a good look at her from the front as I was behind her. Being warm, she was dressed down.
Her gum chewing was annoying, to say the least, but what really caught my eye was the way she walked. Again, I was behind her, so I am looking at her ass. She walked, or is that waddled, like she had a dildo up her ass. Okay, maybe a large butt plug. I ain't never seen anything like it.
There burn that image in your head...woman walking with a butt plug or dildo stuffed up her ass. Hey, how would you look walking if you had something stuffed up your ass? Think about that for a while.
Ciao!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Language barrier?
I am back. Two days in a row, you must be saying. Well, it is two days in a row.
Well, I am forced to ask these questions. How the fuck does me asking for a four digit number come with a reply of a "digital number"?
How does coupon become "couple"? How is it my problem that you have to explain to somebody to call down to get approval for your "coupon" or is that "couple"?
I am working on these questions. I mean, I understand if English is not your first language, but you have come to Canada, the least you can do is copy what I, a lifelong speaker of English, have written. That way, I can understand you what your talking about...without giggling my ass off.
Ciao!
Well, I am forced to ask these questions. How the fuck does me asking for a four digit number come with a reply of a "digital number"?
How does coupon become "couple"? How is it my problem that you have to explain to somebody to call down to get approval for your "coupon" or is that "couple"?
I am working on these questions. I mean, I understand if English is not your first language, but you have come to Canada, the least you can do is copy what I, a lifelong speaker of English, have written. That way, I can understand you what your talking about...without giggling my ass off.
Ciao!
Monday, June 23, 2008
The good, the bad and the weird
I am back. So much to say today, so little time. Isn't always so? There is the good, the bad and the eeriely strange and coincidental. Where to begin?
Let's start with the BAD. George Carlin died at age 71. The man was subversively funny. He was a man who disdained the man-made institutions of politics and religion (rightly so) as it forced the subjugation and ignorance of the individual. He was bang on, and maybe that is why I found him so fucking funny. He could rant like nobody else and it was all predicated on language and listening and parsing the language used by folks.
He did a great bit on advertisers and the use of the word "zesty". He was hit the fucking nose when he said it meant NOTHING. He, like me (or so I have myself believe), could be typecast as the little kid who says that the emporer is naked in the "Emporer's New Clothes".
That is the sad and I really could go on and lament his passing. He will be missed but his funniest bits can live on with DVDs and such.
The Strange begins with me in the shower. Not that me in the shower is strange, it is at least a daily occurrence. I was thinking of the brother of a friend I knew, who I had not heard about or seen in years. He was, last I heard, living in New York and trying to be a stage actor (or any kind of actor)(I guess he was a waiter). Anyway, I am at work and heading into the warehouse. I see some dude with a goatee sitting down. We eye each other but I am thinking how is this guy here. He calls my name. I answer with his name, which coincidentally is his name, too.
We start to chat and I ask about his brother. It turns out he moved to LA three months ago and continues to be a struggling actor. I give him credit for his preseverance. The dude and I caught up. It was great to see and talk to him.
In our youth, he could be very quiet and give you the eyebrows. I will never forget this image. He was a smoker of cigarettes and had asthma. Keep in mind, we were only 19 at the time so we were rather stupid. He would smoke his cigarette and immediately take a puff of his inhaler (which were purchased from my father's drug store, I might add). Always cracked me. It always seemed to be the best advice...got asthma, enjoy a smoke!
Now, for the Good. The good is good. It was the Lad's baseball tournament yesterday. Three games in the sun, heat and morning into the afternoon. The Lad's team won all of their games were the champions. They won big with the Lad playing an integral role...driving in runs, catching flies and as the first baseman, making his catches. It was an amazing run.
The Lad seems to like to hit with 2 strikes. He seems to bear down and focus. Then, he cracks the ball. He did not get on base in all his at bats. He did hit when his team needed the hit, though, and that is more important. His defence was solid at first, catching one fly ball and making all the catches needed at first. There were a lot.
His team was awesome. The little girl at third, not only making the catch, but throwing across the diamond to the Lad to get the force at first. His friend catching a pop fly in the outfield. His other friend, the catcher, scoring a run by aggressive base running and making two put outs at the plate.
The first game ended with their speedster making an awesome catch in the outfield on the other teams best hitter. He took away a sure home run. It was just an awesome day. Now, I have the sunburned forearms and neck to prove it.
I was not the coach, but I was the father who was always there and trying to help. I got so into the games that I could not sit with the Wife. I had to stand near the baseline and get up close and personal to the game. I am insane.
I am so proud of his play, the improvement in his play, and the play of the team. Those Sunday practices, optional, were great for him and the team. It allowed to see how the ball comes off the bat and play a number of positions to get a feel for them. The team had three guys, including the Lad, who could play first (all were big and could catch), but the Lad was the slowest of the 3 so him at first gave them the best defense. It worked and I could not be more happy for him.
Man, I have a serendipitous moment, a comedian I admire dies and spend most of this post gloating about the Lad and his winning team. Funny, but I think that I do a have stronger connection to the Lad than I thought. Cool!
Ciao!
Let's start with the BAD. George Carlin died at age 71. The man was subversively funny. He was a man who disdained the man-made institutions of politics and religion (rightly so) as it forced the subjugation and ignorance of the individual. He was bang on, and maybe that is why I found him so fucking funny. He could rant like nobody else and it was all predicated on language and listening and parsing the language used by folks.
He did a great bit on advertisers and the use of the word "zesty". He was hit the fucking nose when he said it meant NOTHING. He, like me (or so I have myself believe), could be typecast as the little kid who says that the emporer is naked in the "Emporer's New Clothes".
That is the sad and I really could go on and lament his passing. He will be missed but his funniest bits can live on with DVDs and such.
The Strange begins with me in the shower. Not that me in the shower is strange, it is at least a daily occurrence. I was thinking of the brother of a friend I knew, who I had not heard about or seen in years. He was, last I heard, living in New York and trying to be a stage actor (or any kind of actor)(I guess he was a waiter). Anyway, I am at work and heading into the warehouse. I see some dude with a goatee sitting down. We eye each other but I am thinking how is this guy here. He calls my name. I answer with his name, which coincidentally is his name, too.
We start to chat and I ask about his brother. It turns out he moved to LA three months ago and continues to be a struggling actor. I give him credit for his preseverance. The dude and I caught up. It was great to see and talk to him.
In our youth, he could be very quiet and give you the eyebrows. I will never forget this image. He was a smoker of cigarettes and had asthma. Keep in mind, we were only 19 at the time so we were rather stupid. He would smoke his cigarette and immediately take a puff of his inhaler (which were purchased from my father's drug store, I might add). Always cracked me. It always seemed to be the best advice...got asthma, enjoy a smoke!
Now, for the Good. The good is good. It was the Lad's baseball tournament yesterday. Three games in the sun, heat and morning into the afternoon. The Lad's team won all of their games were the champions. They won big with the Lad playing an integral role...driving in runs, catching flies and as the first baseman, making his catches. It was an amazing run.
The Lad seems to like to hit with 2 strikes. He seems to bear down and focus. Then, he cracks the ball. He did not get on base in all his at bats. He did hit when his team needed the hit, though, and that is more important. His defence was solid at first, catching one fly ball and making all the catches needed at first. There were a lot.
His team was awesome. The little girl at third, not only making the catch, but throwing across the diamond to the Lad to get the force at first. His friend catching a pop fly in the outfield. His other friend, the catcher, scoring a run by aggressive base running and making two put outs at the plate.
The first game ended with their speedster making an awesome catch in the outfield on the other teams best hitter. He took away a sure home run. It was just an awesome day. Now, I have the sunburned forearms and neck to prove it.
I was not the coach, but I was the father who was always there and trying to help. I got so into the games that I could not sit with the Wife. I had to stand near the baseline and get up close and personal to the game. I am insane.
I am so proud of his play, the improvement in his play, and the play of the team. Those Sunday practices, optional, were great for him and the team. It allowed to see how the ball comes off the bat and play a number of positions to get a feel for them. The team had three guys, including the Lad, who could play first (all were big and could catch), but the Lad was the slowest of the 3 so him at first gave them the best defense. It worked and I could not be more happy for him.
Man, I have a serendipitous moment, a comedian I admire dies and spend most of this post gloating about the Lad and his winning team. Funny, but I think that I do a have stronger connection to the Lad than I thought. Cool!
Ciao!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I am not sure where this is going
I am back. I will make this short. I am not sure, but I think that I really dislike people. Stupidity seems to be endemic. I am left to wonder if I must wander amongst a bunch of inbreeders and ask why is that.
Of course, that is just me. I have seen and heard too much lately. It just makes me wonder. Wonder...what the fuck is going on around here! Stop the world, I am getting off. And not in a good way. There is no joy in that....unless you can spunk on some idiot....which is not difficult if you think about it.
All you really need to do is jerk off in public, or is that pubic? Now, there is a thought. How come pubic and public are so close in spelling? Is there something to that? It is not pubic hair that makes its way on to the soap, but public hair. Or it is public hair, now.
There, that is the thought to leave you all with. Pubic or public, the choice is yours.
Ciao!
Of course, that is just me. I have seen and heard too much lately. It just makes me wonder. Wonder...what the fuck is going on around here! Stop the world, I am getting off. And not in a good way. There is no joy in that....unless you can spunk on some idiot....which is not difficult if you think about it.
All you really need to do is jerk off in public, or is that pubic? Now, there is a thought. How come pubic and public are so close in spelling? Is there something to that? It is not pubic hair that makes its way on to the soap, but public hair. Or it is public hair, now.
There, that is the thought to leave you all with. Pubic or public, the choice is yours.
Ciao!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
On Hygiene
I am back. I was at Costco today. Costco! On a Saturday! What am I fucking nuts?!! A sea of humanity in which I refuse to swim. Until....today.
All I can say is this....Costco should make, as a prerequisite to membership, it members and employees SHOWER before entering the store. Damn it, there is food there. There were some stanky, and skanky, people in that Costco. The reek off one dude in particular was something fierce. Right in the food area. Let the barfing begin! I thought I would lose it. All the samples that I took were about to come up. But I held it down.
That is how I came by that rule.
I was also thinking about the sign posted at every swimming pool in Ontario. It is Ontario Regulation blah, blah, blah...that every person who enters the pool shall have taken a shower with soap and warm water and rinsed off all residue of soap.
Ever read that? I do not know of ONE person or pool that enforces that or even follows that rule. Fuck, that one is working. Why not just say that this pool is no substitute for a bath or a shower. Unless, you like that just fresh chlorined moments.
I do like the line of prohibiting people with "open sores" from swimming. I have found it actually makes it quite fun and interesting for children to swim after the lepers have finished with their pool time. The kids can then dive for body parts.........and that is what makes swimming fun and adventurous for the kids.
Ciao!
All I can say is this....Costco should make, as a prerequisite to membership, it members and employees SHOWER before entering the store. Damn it, there is food there. There were some stanky, and skanky, people in that Costco. The reek off one dude in particular was something fierce. Right in the food area. Let the barfing begin! I thought I would lose it. All the samples that I took were about to come up. But I held it down.
That is how I came by that rule.
I was also thinking about the sign posted at every swimming pool in Ontario. It is Ontario Regulation blah, blah, blah...that every person who enters the pool shall have taken a shower with soap and warm water and rinsed off all residue of soap.
Ever read that? I do not know of ONE person or pool that enforces that or even follows that rule. Fuck, that one is working. Why not just say that this pool is no substitute for a bath or a shower. Unless, you like that just fresh chlorined moments.
I do like the line of prohibiting people with "open sores" from swimming. I have found it actually makes it quite fun and interesting for children to swim after the lepers have finished with their pool time. The kids can then dive for body parts.........and that is what makes swimming fun and adventurous for the kids.
Ciao!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Back with a vengance
I am back, bitches! Wow, nearly 10 days since my last post. I am getting very bad. I have been very busy, in my defence, but that is no excuse. I can breath again, so that is good...and bad.
Anyway, the kitchen is coming along. The floor was laid last Saturday (looks great) and the grout was done yesterday. The cabinets are in and finished (look great, too). Apparently, the appliances arrived today (looks great, I am told). I do not know if the stove is functional but I know the dishwasher is not. It needs to be hooked up to the plumbing. There is no counter top so that means no sink, either (under mount sink) so there is no preparation surface. Not to mention that without the counter, there is no way to tile the back splash. It also needs to be painted. But it is better and more along than the open hole that it was two weeks ago.
On that note, I just read where "Catholic bishops on Friday condemned the destruction of human embryos for stem cell research as a "gravely immoral act" in the organization's first formal statement on the issue". Funny, that is a gravely immoral act, but they did not seem to quick to condemn or really move on priests diddling altar boys now did they? I do not recall the condemnation there. Of course, how many of the bishops got their licks (pardon the pun) in while they were priests. They got theirs, so the current priest should be able to get them some.
Go fucking figure! I do not want to paint all priest as diddlers, they are not. The official response has been pathetic. It makes me wonder what kind of moral stand that the Church and bishops can take that would not come across as being hypocritical. I guess that is for somebody else to sort out.
A belated HB greeting to Willie. He had another birthday. It seems to happen every year around the same time. Go figure.
That is all for today. I will not go into my weekend spending time with The Wife's siblings. Suffice it to say, it is rarely time well spent for me. Just once, I wish somebody in the Outlaw clan could actually shut the voices off in their head, listen and follow fucking instructions. Ahhh...to dream the impossible dream. Then again, if that is something I dream about, my life is pretty pathetic.
Have a great weekend, one and all! Ciao!
Anyway, the kitchen is coming along. The floor was laid last Saturday (looks great) and the grout was done yesterday. The cabinets are in and finished (look great, too). Apparently, the appliances arrived today (looks great, I am told). I do not know if the stove is functional but I know the dishwasher is not. It needs to be hooked up to the plumbing. There is no counter top so that means no sink, either (under mount sink) so there is no preparation surface. Not to mention that without the counter, there is no way to tile the back splash. It also needs to be painted. But it is better and more along than the open hole that it was two weeks ago.
On that note, I just read where "Catholic bishops on Friday condemned the destruction of human embryos for stem cell research as a "gravely immoral act" in the organization's first formal statement on the issue". Funny, that is a gravely immoral act, but they did not seem to quick to condemn or really move on priests diddling altar boys now did they? I do not recall the condemnation there. Of course, how many of the bishops got their licks (pardon the pun) in while they were priests. They got theirs, so the current priest should be able to get them some.
Go fucking figure! I do not want to paint all priest as diddlers, they are not. The official response has been pathetic. It makes me wonder what kind of moral stand that the Church and bishops can take that would not come across as being hypocritical. I guess that is for somebody else to sort out.
A belated HB greeting to Willie. He had another birthday. It seems to happen every year around the same time. Go figure.
That is all for today. I will not go into my weekend spending time with The Wife's siblings. Suffice it to say, it is rarely time well spent for me. Just once, I wish somebody in the Outlaw clan could actually shut the voices off in their head, listen and follow fucking instructions. Ahhh...to dream the impossible dream. Then again, if that is something I dream about, my life is pretty pathetic.
Have a great weekend, one and all! Ciao!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Odds with very few ends
I am back. This is my first official post in June of 2008. How exciting!
I have not told y'all about my life. I am in a bit of a living hell. We have no kitchen to speak of. We have a space where the kitchen is. Until the weekend, it was just floor boards, and bare walls with no cabinets and, of course, no appliances. The Wife wanted to renovate the kitchen and given her year, how could I say "no"?
I am along for this ride into hell! I know it will be beautiful (as if I care) when it is done. In fact, it will make the rest of the house look like shit. That means, doing this room and that. It never fucking ends. Well, it does end but by that time I am dead. Of course, I will not have to pay for it then.......or will I?
Karma is a bitch. Just ask Sharon Stone, good Buddhist that she is got the Chinese in a snit when she said that the earthquake in Sichuan is karma for the Han Chinese treatment of Tibet. What of the dead gerbil inside the ass of her friend, Richard Gere? Where is little "fuzzy"'s karma?
Idiot woman! It was a fucking earthquake. It was not Karma. If it was, then a whole lot of innocent folks got fucked by Karma. I suppose the issues in Myanmar are Karma, too. There is an example of how not to respond to a natural disaster. This should be the rule of thumb, have a natural disaster? Think what would the junta of Myanmar do, then do the opposite. The world is one fucked up mess and getting messier.
I could cry, but then again that is because I have to beg to sit at a table for a meal. Anybody want to extend a dinner invitation to me and the family? Or even just me, I am open. Please......
It is all fucked up, that is all that I can say. It was an interesting weekend around these parts. I am not sure why. They did do the scratch coat for the kitchen floor. We are waiting for the cabinets to be installed tomorrow along with the tile (floor and back splash) to be dropped off tomorrow. Friday, they measure to cut the counter top. From there it is tile the floor, bring in the appliances, install the counter and sink and tile the back splash. Then maybe, I can live like a normal human home owner. Not like I am on a long term camping trip.
I am getting used to washing dishes in the bathtub. The Wife has taken to singing, "Shitin' where we eat" which is sick but explains plenty.
That is how I will leave you, while I dive into a bathtub sized mint julep. I wish! Ciao!
I have not told y'all about my life. I am in a bit of a living hell. We have no kitchen to speak of. We have a space where the kitchen is. Until the weekend, it was just floor boards, and bare walls with no cabinets and, of course, no appliances. The Wife wanted to renovate the kitchen and given her year, how could I say "no"?
I am along for this ride into hell! I know it will be beautiful (as if I care) when it is done. In fact, it will make the rest of the house look like shit. That means, doing this room and that. It never fucking ends. Well, it does end but by that time I am dead. Of course, I will not have to pay for it then.......or will I?
Karma is a bitch. Just ask Sharon Stone, good Buddhist that she is got the Chinese in a snit when she said that the earthquake in Sichuan is karma for the Han Chinese treatment of Tibet. What of the dead gerbil inside the ass of her friend, Richard Gere? Where is little "fuzzy"'s karma?
Idiot woman! It was a fucking earthquake. It was not Karma. If it was, then a whole lot of innocent folks got fucked by Karma. I suppose the issues in Myanmar are Karma, too. There is an example of how not to respond to a natural disaster. This should be the rule of thumb, have a natural disaster? Think what would the junta of Myanmar do, then do the opposite. The world is one fucked up mess and getting messier.
I could cry, but then again that is because I have to beg to sit at a table for a meal. Anybody want to extend a dinner invitation to me and the family? Or even just me, I am open. Please......
It is all fucked up, that is all that I can say. It was an interesting weekend around these parts. I am not sure why. They did do the scratch coat for the kitchen floor. We are waiting for the cabinets to be installed tomorrow along with the tile (floor and back splash) to be dropped off tomorrow. Friday, they measure to cut the counter top. From there it is tile the floor, bring in the appliances, install the counter and sink and tile the back splash. Then maybe, I can live like a normal human home owner. Not like I am on a long term camping trip.
I am getting used to washing dishes in the bathtub. The Wife has taken to singing, "Shitin' where we eat" which is sick but explains plenty.
That is how I will leave you, while I dive into a bathtub sized mint julep. I wish! Ciao!
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