Heavy is the heart

I am back. I am saddened to report that FIL has died. He slipped off his mortal coil early this morning. Funeral arrangements have been made for tomorrow at 2pm. Again, you cannot have a funeral without "fun".

At last he is at peace and the Wife can grieve his loss, and more importantly, grieve the loss of MIL, her mother, without having to worry about FIL and witnessing his declining health (I would add mental state, but I am not sure about his baseline for that, so I am not sure if it was a steep decline or rather shallow--I am not nice, just honest, and does not change the fondness I had for the man).

He could not, or perhaps I would not allow him to, be a father figure to me. I had only one of those and refused to "replace" him. He did not offer much in the way of guidance and that was okay. I am not sure that I could have accepted his guidance, being that he never appeared to be quite "here" (or "there" as the case may be). That was who he was and how he was raised.

He was a man of simple tastes. Actually, in some way he lacked taste. He was not garish or tacky, he just could not pass up the lure of quantity. He liked The Sizzler, it was crap food but you got a lot of it. That made it good value. Good value of crap, but still good value.

I will miss the man and the man disappeared long before MIL passed away. He was a very sociable man, though. He loved to have people he knew around him. He would revel in their presence and conversation. At the lunch, after the unveiling for MIL, though he obviously did not recognize everybody or even know why they were there, his face beamed with joy. Joy of the moment and being with those he knew. It was the social-him.

He was not a brooder, unlike me. That was a good thing. Unfortunately, as his disease progressed and the kidneys were in failure, the heart in failure....fuck all his organs were failing, of course not in any coordinated manner, which was par for the course.

He had decided he had enough and stopped eating. He made a choice, or something that seemed to be a choice. Good for him on that one.

Harry, this post is for you. Perhaps, I will delve deeper into the man (which does not sound good, so deal with it) at a later date. Suffice to say, he will be missed, though he was already missed due to the dementia.

Ciao!