Why should he suffer?

I am back. This is another sad post. I am living with a sad woman. She is right to be sad. FIL is slowly shuffling off his mortal coil, as it were. Today, they will remove the IV and move him from the hospital, where he has been for the past two plus weeks, back to his room with palliative care.

My sister in law came in for the weekend, her second trip in during the month of October, but she leaves later today, after they move FIL back to his room. The leaves the Wife and her brother, which really leave just the Wife, to witness the continued physical decline, the mental decline really cannot go any further to tell the truth.

She is upset that she is "killing" her father and that she has to go through this "alone" again. It is different from MIL as with FIL there is no shock. This is the inevitable course of his disease. Removing the IV, which irritates him and stopping the blood work, so taking him off his blood thinning medication, will have repercussions. They are just unknown.

The real fact is this, to what end are they continuing to do what is necessary to keep him alive. That is the true question. He will not get "better". He will not be able to function physically, as he has not walked since December. The legs have atrophied and become rigid. This will not improve. His kidneys continue to shut down as will his other organs. Again, to keep him alive, is just keeping a "blob" alive, there is no spark of life in there anymore.

That is the sad thing. The Wife does not want to let him go, or at least if he is pain. He cannot tell you if he is in pain. That leaves her assuming everything. Not necessarily a problem, unless, and here is the reality, you take your assumptions for fact and leave things at that. The Wife does that, so that her assumptions are held as true despite the loads of objective evidence to the contrary.

I am thinking that today is the beginning of the end, or the beginning of the beginning. I do not want FIL to die or suffer, neither does the Wife. I am willing to let nature run its course. I understand her conflict as it is her father and her last real connection to her past/youth. I really do try to be understanding and supportive and she really has to stop trying to fight that which she cannot control and the inevitable outcome. FIL is dying and there is nothing that can be done to stop that. Why should he suffer?

Ciao!