What a douche!

I am back. I have noticed that the word "douche" seems to have made a comeback. Maybe it never went away, but there was a good twenty years there where I do not recall it being uttered. That is not fully true. I would use the word in the 80s but I am an exception and just insane. Besides, it was usually used for shock value.

Here is the context. During the 80s, I took a dislike to vinegar, especially white vinegar. I do not mind rice wine vinegar, balsamic vinegar, sherry vinegar, champagne vinegar, etc., though I tend to use lemon or lime juice as my acid for a salad dressing (that is just me). Whenever somebody asked me, usually female, if I wanted vinegar, my reply would inevitably be "I refuse to eat something a woman would douche with". Yup, the old vinegar and water douche turned me off putting vinegar on my French fries.

It did offend many a person. That was a good enough reason to keep repeating it.

I have been watching television and keep hearing the word "douche" an awful lot in prime time. It has been used on "Family Guy" with Brian and Stewie saying it and "The Office" to name but two shows.

Again, I was brought back to the late 70s and early 80s, while working at the drug store. Do you recall the commercials, in primetime, for Massengill disposable douche. I sure do. It really was brought home to me when I was stocking the store shelf with Massengill disposable douche. Was it just a 70s thing?

Also on the shelf were a few cans of FDS-feminine deodorant spray. That was another vestige of the 70s. I am not sure what that says about the times. I am thinking there was a lot of so called "pussy stink" among the ladies during that time. Maybe it was caused by a combination of heavy pubic bush (see late 70s porn for that), nylons (they do not breathe or allow the pussy to breathe) and tight spandex or denim pants. Perhaps the 70s, the disco era, was an era of yeast infections, vaginosis and vaginitis leading to "feminine" odor that needed to be masked by FDS and the need to clean the cooze with some sort of douche.

For me it was a time of young adolescent sex and pussy. I was so happy to be feeling/petting one that odor was not a consideration for me.

Then again, perhaps, the products were designed by men who thought that the natural scent of a woman was offensive. Could be that the bright minds at Proctor and Gamble or other consumer product company had to move this crap, so the marketers set out to create the need by trying to convince women, and their men, that their pussies gave off some sort of offensive odor. It may have all been a plot perpetrated by the patriarchy to keep women down by making them think that their natural scents were something to be embarrassed about and that they should feel shame to have a pussy, especially one that had some sort of scent.

Again, I do not recall anybody buying either the FDS or the Massengill douches at the store. Then again, I would see them, think about what they were for, how they were used and giggle. Much the same way I would do with the condoms. (C'mon I was 13 or 14 at the time, so the concept of sexuality was being interpretted by an awkward teen going through puberty),

It is funny how times have changed. I do not recall seeing any ads for FDS or those douches in a long while. Women today have taken control of their sexuality, by and large, and will not have it dictated to them by older Mad Men. Their pussies smell like pussies and that is how they are supposed to smell. Unless of course, it is scent of the sea, well the sea where the fish are washing up dead, in which case it is get thee to the doctor for a swab and a prescription for some Flagyl or get some Monistat or Canesten. In which case, it is a quick trip to the "cunt cupboard".

At that point, it is a passing incident where the normal vaginal life is out of balance. Then again, if the woman in you life has burning "down there" and her only relief is repeatedly sliding down the bannister, then get thee to the "cunt cupboard" and get her some Canesten Cream. She will thank you.

Avoid the FDS, if they still make and market it, because at that point it is like a putting an airwick in a sewer.

I am not sure where I was going with this. It is funny that "douche" has taken me to the 70s and a marketer creating a "need" or problem of "feminine odor" that was really only a "problem" to sell shit that was really unnecessary. How feminine, and even manscaping, styles went from a celebration of pubic hair, groomed but abundant, to a cleaner look (shaving the lips if not the whole pubic area). And it brought me right back to the "cunt cupboard". I am not sure if I am profound, profane, cogent or just insane.

Maybe, television is my muse. Maybe, feminine products are my muse. Maybe, my muse lies at the point where feminine hygeine and television meet. Now, that is strange. Ciao!