The digression King

I am back. Wow, 8 days since my last post. I am sure it was a good one. Then again, what do I know?

I do have to send out a birthday greeting to my neice in Dayton, Ohio. She may be the "dim" one. Seems to have been caught drinking underage and smoking reefer by her parents. Her parents (the Wife's sister and brother in law) are rather "uncool" and "nerdy" by my, and any right thinking individual's, standards. She could not go without getting caught (by police among others) and having to deal with her parents. I am not moralizing the fact that she has done it (I did at her age, too), I am more upset with the fact that she got caught (repeatedly). That is what bothers me.

I must also shout out a birthday greeting to my brother. It is his birthday, too, and he had it first. Anyway, I WILL call him later unlike my mother. It was her birthday two weeks ago. I did send a card and was going to call her in the evening. As luck would have it, once I arrived home with the Lad at around 8 that evening, I completely forgot to call. I did remember the next morning at 6:30. She did not care so I am still golden in her eyes. Of course, her vision is obviously impaired.

Apparently, in Hungary they are saying that Santa Claus should avoid kissing children. They say it is to avoid the spread of the flu, the MEXICAN SWINE flu (deal with it). I say it is avoid the notion of Santa as pedophile, which can be far worse than a little flu. Then again, I am not sure if a brush (strange choice of words0 with a pedophile will kill you (I am not advocating that at all, I am just saying). Then again, giving a pedophile Santa the flu and he dies, well that is just Karma. Then again, the kids at school may be pissed that you "killed" Santa, but you know what, he had it coming.

Did John Wayne Gacy ever dress up as Santa Claus? What kind of St. Nick was he? Well, little Billy, your present is under the floorboards. Why don't you go and have a look?

That was sick. Ciao!

"Quality Trim"

I am back. Saw something funny last night. Really, it was heard something that caught me as funny last night.

The Wife and I were watching television. It was Canada's Worst Driver 5, I just seem to love these shows. There are some very scary drivers out there. During a commercial, I flick on to HGTV and there is some house hunters type show on. I do not catch much but the husband, in looking at this house, says "that is some quality trim."

I repeat this to the Wife. I do not think she really "gets" it as I say it. All that I can think about is how true that statement really is. What man does not want or enjoy "quality trim". Well, gay guys, I guess.

We, as men, spend our whole lives in search of "quality trim". It is innate (or in Nate if you are gay, not that there's anything wrong with that).

Well, am I correct in that? Ciao!

Shut the fuck up and let's be on our way!

I am back. It has been a while. I missed Halloween, the outlaws anniversary, the anniversary of FIL and MIL's deaths, my mother's birthday and other shit. Well, I did not miss them, I just did not write about them. And I did not see any cards and letters from y'all.

I could have been dying from H1N1, fuck it, Mexican Swine flu and none of you cared enough to see that I was not knocking on death's door. I am not really sure if death actually has a door. I was under the assumption he had an open door policy. I would not think that there are too many meetings or private conversations in his business. Then again, I could be wrong. It could be just another piece of corporate hell with useless meetings allowing "managers" to justify their existence.

I am getting off topic there. Then again, I do not have a topic. This is not Bob and Doug MacKenzie's "Great White North". There are no topics here. It is one big ADD dream. Something shiny appears and I am side tracked. Of course, you do get to come along for the ride. I can hear your questions now.

"When are we going to get there?"
"Where are we going?"
"Why are we going there?"
"I gotta go to the bathroom."

Well, I have heard it all, and said it all, so the answer is "Shut the fuck up and let's get on our way!" That will be my motto for the remainder of....at least the day...Shut the fuck up and let's be on our way.

Ciao! Shut the fuck up and let's be on our way!