The Trouble with Beets

I am back. This may be a very disgusting post, and I may have touched on this earlier, though I do not recall. I had checked my archives, recent posts, and it did not seem to be there. Perhaps, I merely thought about it but never posted the thought. Here it goes.

The Wife made roasted beets the other night (Thursday). No trouble there. She does make them fairly often and she likes her beets. I am more skeptical. I eat them but am not sure if I like them. Of course, roasting anything makes it tasty....see beef and potatoes.

They were okay. The fun begins the next morning. I go to do "my business" and the water in the toilet is red. "Fuck!" I am thinking that I have one hell of a bleeding colon. It cannot be good. I have one and a half fucking feet in the grave. I am a goner.

Then, I remember........beets. That beet color gets everywhere. It is scary. It stains the plates and the walls. I have seen it used to color pasta. Now, it colors my colon and its contents. I am not dying, I have eaten beets.

No wonder the Violent Femmes once wrote, "Body and beets, I stain my sheets, I don't even know why, my girlfriend, she's at the end, she is starting to cry....Let me go on, like a blister in the sun". It is all coming too clear to me now. Thank you Gord Gano for those lines.

Fortunately, I did not stain the sheets....at least not with beets. That must mean that all is well.

There you have it, a story of my colon's contents. Ciao!