Lamentations for the passing of my aunt, a great aunt

I am back. Almost a month between postings, how bad is that? Pretty damn bad, I would say. My most sincere apologies. I have kept you coming back for nothing for all that time. How thoughtless of me. Did any of you call or write to see that I had not dropped dead? For the record, I have not. I am very much alive and kicking.

The funny thing, if this is funny, is that no sooner did I post that Monday in July, when I got word, on the Wednesday, that my aunt, my father's sister (not the one who died in 2006), had died. She was ill and in palliative care, so the end was coming soon, but I did not think it was to be that soon. She is and will continue to be dearly missed.

My aunt was a beautiful person. She had a tough life, in a relative sense, and did not deserve that. Her life and that of MIL coincided. Both were the smartest of their siblings (though my father and other aunt ended up with multiple university degrees) who for family reasons ended up in Commerce high schools and becoming bookkeepers. They were born about 5 months apart (MIL in September of '32 and my aunt in March of '33) and both were two of the nicest people you could ever meet. Also, you could find yourself listening to both on the telephone for a good half hour before the point they were trying to make became clear.

I had visited my aunt in palliative care in late May after she had gotten into the facility. It was more a matter of her being unsteady at home and this became a "safe" place for her. I did not think that her death was to be anytime soon, just sooner than it would be for somebody my age. That is usually the case. In any event, I stopped by my mother's on the Saturday (10th) and was told that my aunt had deteriorated. Again, I did not think it would be that soon or quick.

It was. I got the call from my mother as I headed up from the shower that Wednesday morning. I did not think it really affected me until I had to go to a client's house that afternoon and almost had about 3 car accidents. It was at that point that I knew I should carefully go home and collect myself. The funeral was all fun and excitement in tremendous heat and humidity.

It was nice to see my cousins, though, the circumstances were less than ideal. I was disappointed that she did not, could not, make it to the Lad's bar mitzvah. It was another a reason why I was not about to go pick the Lad up at camp to take him to the funeral.

It now leaves my uncle alone. I am not sure what he is going to do. It is okay in some sense. I mean the guy never had time for me, throughout my life, so I can return that favor. My cousin, not his son, said the same thing to me about my uncle.

It made me realize that growing up I had 4 uncles. Two of whom I related to and rather liked. My unlce Dave, who died in 1980 and was like a surrogate father to my father, was awesome. He was cool in a strange way and apparently had a rather filthy mouth (I never saw/heard it that way). He was probably the first adult that I can think of who did not talk down to me. He did not treat me like an equal (I was not, I was a child and he an adult, but he did not talk down to me and in fact, taught me, directly and through my father, how to treat people, all people, with respect and dignity). He also owned numerous Jaguars. Of course, they were apparently co-owned with his mechanic and they shared custody, or so it seemed.

My mother's brother, uncle Paul, who lives in BC, was closest in age to me. He was always a lot of fun. He may caused me some brain damage (smacking my head into a plaster overhang in our house while on his shoulders, but so what is a few lost IQ points between an uncle and his nephew). He is always a source of entertainment and story telling. He even has built a relationship with the Lad and my neice and nephews. Now, that he is a grandfather, who knows what new silliness may take root.

The other two uncles, my mother's brother in law and father's brother in law, were just there. Ignored by one, talked down to by the other, the lack of a relationship is their own loss. I am pretty fun people and they missed it.

Well, that is all for now. I hope to come back much sooner as I did have things to say about things seen. Ciao!